A Clear Specimen of Detestation for Cultural Norms and Social Responsibility: Change the Damn Toilet Paper Roll. (Abridged)
Rude Chicken Achieves Avatar State Against Those Who Don't Replace The Toilet Paper.
You have clearly decided to experience life as a tapestry of societal rot and depravity. Utilizing your privy has enlightened me to the truest substance of your nature:
A harbinger of moral decay, the pure, unadulterated incarnation of cultural effluvium.
In other words:
If you’re one of the degenerates who exits the bathroom, leaving a nearly empty toilet paper roll in your wake?
You probably even look yourself in the eyes in the mirror and think you’re a good person. If I may, would you mind if I offered a humble but highly pertinent course correction?
Good.
Cause I wasn’t asking.
Why don’t we start by showing us on the doll where the world hurt you bad enough to justify going full scorched earth on the rest of us in what is supposed to be the most neutral of neutral grounds?
Replacing the roll is just what you do.
Leaving a sip of milk in the milk jug is bad. Not returning the shopping cart is worse. Not replacing the roll should get you dropped off at a Texas PTA meeting, in a furry costume.
There is no gray area here.
Ana and Christian ain’t coming out to litigate the 50 shades of mitigating factors at play here. This is a matter of divine right and wrongness, and Jesus is probably gunna sit this one out. Cause even the New Covenant didn’t cover sins this great.
Imagine being the poor sod who’s following you? Desperate, awkward, hopefully not a guest in your house. Actually no. Hopefully they are, because it’s the justice you definitely won’t understand. But you sure as hell will deserve.
Because those 900 GSM decorative towels you drone on and on about? They just entered the chat. But don’t you worry that empty lil head of yours. I’ll make sure to hang them back up when I’m done.
And light the Champagne Smoke Over Aged Brie candle you got on the counter. Cause after all, the only thing that goes better than this shit and your bullshit? Is some cheese and wine.
And you’d be getting off lucky. This kind of warfare is usually met with tribunals.
They said the revolution won’t be televised.
I just never expected ground zero would be in your bathroom.
Go fall off a chair.
-RC