2 cents.
That is roughly how much a napkin costs.
You know what else costs 2 cents?
NOTHING.
At least not anymore, not even Grandma’s candy, those butterscotch’s and strawberries that once dreamed a dream of being a Gusher, not with inflation and price gouging running amuck.
Anyway, whether you’re slurpin’ some Ramen with noodles kicking miso all over your shirt, or you’re getting down right inappropriate with a pile of ribs, what is with these “Establishments” giving you one.. pathetic.. cheap ass napkin to handle your business with?
Do they want you looking like you got lonely and decided to shoot a porno with a giant vat of Sloppy Joe with extra sauce?
Some food defiles clothing by design, and no matter what you do, some aspect of your clothes are destined to be collateral damage.
But don’t be one of those prissy “keep the royal bloodline pure” and hemophilic inbreds who eat Pizza with a knife and fork. You’re better than that.
Sure. You could ask for more napkins.. but who wants to do that? You—Todd?! You’re too scared to tell the waitress you asked for mashed potatoes instead of fries.
No. How about they provide some actual customer service and give you a damn pile of napkins ahead of time, when they full well know the food is going to demand it!
Lets focus on some of the important issues of the day for once.
Go step on a Lego Todd.
No one likes you.
-RC